Navigating Major Life Transitions with Support | Therapy in Stillwater, MN
Understanding Change, Building Resilience, and Finding Your Way Through Uncertain Seasons
By: Darcy Stivland, LICSW & Clare Beardsley, LPCC
Life transitions are an inevitable part of being human – and yet, they often catch us off guard. Even when a transition is hoped for or celebrated, it can still feel destabilizing. As therapists, we frequently meet clients during these seasons of shifting identity, shifting roles, and shifting expectations. These are moments when the nervous system is working hard to find its footing again.
At River Pines Counseling, we help individuals and families navigate these changes with compassion, clarity, and evidence-based support. Below, Darcy and Clare share insights from their work with clients moving through major life transitions.
Understanding What Counts as a Life Transition
Life transitions aren’t only the major milestones we expect – marriage, parenthood, divorce, retirement. A transition is any shift that disrupts your internal or external “homeostasis” (as Darcy describes it) – the emotional, relational, physical, or environmental stability your system has grown accustomed to.
Clare adds: “Transitions often highlight where we need to slow down, reflect, and realign with what feels authentic.”
Common transitions that bring people to therapy include:
Blending or restructuring families
Empty nesting or shifting roles in parenthood
Changes in adolescent independence (“Can I just have the car keys please?”)
Aging parents needing increased care
A new health diagnosis or chronic condition
Changes in physical health, weight, or fitness
Shifting workplaces, leadership, or responsibilities
Relocation or major lifestyle changes
Loss, divorce, or the end of meaningful relationships
Retirement or entering a new life stage
Even celebrated transitions – marriage, graduating, pregnancy, new opportunities – can introduce complexity, uncertainty, and emotional overwhelm.
Why Even Positive Change Can Feel Stressful
Both clinicians emphasize that the human brain is wired for stability. Our “safety-oriented caveman brain,” as Darcy playfully names it, reacts to change (even good change) by scanning for threat.
Clare adds that any unknown can trigger a physiological sense of danger:
“The mind often equates ‘unknown’ with ‘unsafe,’ so it’s natural to feel unsettled while adapting to new circumstances.”
A common misconception they see in therapy is the belief that “good change should feel good.” But every transition involves some level of loss – even if it’s just letting go of the familiar.
When Change Reactivates Old Patterns or Trauma
Both Darcy and Clare note that transitions often stir up deeper emotional material.
“Trauma triggers trauma,” Darcy says. New stress can activate older pathways of fear, grief, or self-doubt.
Clare adds that transitions can be “echoes” of previous times of instability – inviting us to finally acknowledge or integrate old pain.
This is why someone may feel unexpectedly overwhelmed or emotionally reactive during a life change. It's not just the new situation, it's the old wound being tapped.
Recognizing the Emotional Impact of Transitions
Common emotional responses include:
Excitement, hope, and relief
Anxiety, irritability, or overwhelm
Sadness, disappointment, or grief
A sense of jumping between “two cliffs”
Wonder, curiosity, or confusion
Feeling unsteady, unsure, or disconnected from identity
Transitions can also deeply affect:
Identity - Roles shift. Old markers of purpose or belonging may no longer fit.
Self-Worth - Expectations change, and people often question their adequacy or relevance.
Relationships - Dynamics evolve—sometimes strengthening, sometimes creating tension.
Signs You May Be Struggling with a Transition
Therapy can help if you’re experiencing:
Persistent irritability or emotional sensitivity
Anxiety, panic, or racing thoughts
Withdrawal from relationships
Sleep disruption
Loss of motivation or difficulty completing daily tasks
Overuse of food or alcohol for coping
Conflict in relationships or parenting
Feeling “stuck,” overwhelmed, or disconnected
A decline in work or home functioning
Neglecting hygiene or basic self-care
Darcy describes deeper overwhelm as “core life rocks not feeling stable” – your wellness, relationships, financial life, or environment feel shaky at once.
How Therapy Helps During Life Transitions
Therapy provides structure, perspective, and a safe emotional space when everything else feels uncertain.
1. New Skills & Self-Insight - Clients learn to understand their emotional responses and give language to what’s happening internally.
2. Support & Perspective - A therapist offers objective insight, encouragement, and problem-solving support.
3. Evidence-Based Approaches - Darcy and Clare integrate:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
EMDR for trauma processing
Positive psychology and strengths-based interventions
Solutions-oriented coaching
Mindfulness and nature-based grounding
Narrative therapy to help re-author one’s story
4. Realignment With Values - Therapy slows down the internal narrative so clients can make choices that are aligned—not fear-based.
5. Emotional and Physiological Regulation - Clients learn how to reduce body tension, stabilize stress responses, and build self-awareness.
6. A Confidential “Vault” - As Darcy describes it: therapy is a safe, objective container to process, explore, and express.
Learning to Embrace Change Rather Than Fear It
Both providers emphasize practical, compassionate strategies:
Take small, incremental steps
Use SMART goals to build confidence
Practice acceptance rather than resistance
Seek opportunities, not just obstacles
Strengthen daily self-care routines (sleep, movement, nature, connection)
Build curiosity and tolerance for uncertainty
Clare notes: “When clients reframe change as an invitation rather than a threat, something shifts. Curiosity makes growth possible.”
Signs You’re Growing Through a Transition
Growth often looks like:
More restful sleep
Clearer thinking and increased focus
Reduced anxiety or depressive symptoms
Calmer body and improved emotional regulation
Improved communication and relationships
Feeling more grounded or hopeful
A shift from “surviving” to “creating”
These changes often emerge slowly and subtly, but they are meaningful indicators of healing.
The Role of Meaning, Self-Compassion, and Creativity
Clare and Darcy both emphasize that healing cannot happen through shame, pressure, or fear. Self-compassion opens space for learning and experimentation.
Creative processes – art, journaling, movement, nature exposure – support grounding and emotional integration. They help clients reconnect with intuition and regain a sense of what truly matters.
A Message for Anyone Struggling Through a Life Transition
Clare shares:
“Change can feel disorienting, but it’s often a sign that something meaningful is trying to emerge. You don’t need to have everything figured out – just begin by noticing what’s calling for your care.”Darcy adds:
“With every change, there will be loss. Have grace with yourself. Rest more. Transitions are hard on your system, but new opportunities will emerge.”
You Don’t Have to Navigate Change Alone
At River Pines Counseling, we meet you with compassion, curiosity, and the tools to help you feel steady again. Life transitions may be unavoidable, but struggling through them alone is not.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, ungrounded, or unsure of your next step, our therapists can help you find clarity, resilience, and renewed confidence.
Darcy Stivland, LICSW
Specializing in life transitions, personal leadership, and resilience-building
Darcy supports clients through major life transitions by helping them understand how change affects the mind, body, and relationships. With training in CBT, positive psychology, strengths-based approaches, and leadership coaching, she guides individuals in developing practical skills, emotional insight, and confidence during uncertain seasons. Darcy provides a grounding, compassionate space where clients can reshape unhelpful patterns, build resilience, and move through change with clarity and purpose.
Clare Beardsley, LPCC, MA
Supporting identity shifts, emotional healing, and meaningful life transitions
Clare helps clients navigate the emotional complexity of life transitions—whether they involve grief, identity changes, relationship shifts, or new life roles. Integrating mindfulness, CBT, narrative therapy, and trauma-informed care, she helps clients slow down, understand their internal world, and reconnect with their values. Clare’s approach empowers clients to re-author their story during times of change, cultivating self-compassion, emotional steadiness, and a renewed sense of direction.
